It seem s kind of weird to reflect on reflecting, but I often do a lot of this each year when I am at Lake Powell. Somehow it just seems appropriate with one of my rare opportunities these days to be out in nature, surrounded by its immenseness and beauty. Today, as I am sitting on the upper deck of a houseboat overlooking Hulls Creek Bay, I realize that I have spent many hours doing this over the years. I I like to step back and see what has happened. Too often in regular life, i am running around from this to that so quickly that I am among the trees and never take enough time to see if I am really headed where I want to go. By occasionally stepping back, I can evaluate where I am and try to figure out if I am on the right track still.
The saying goes that you cannot see the forest for the trees. So, I am stepping back and taking a look. I should really do it more often, but at least I do it at Lake Powell each year, so the longest I go is a year between evaluations. I think some people go almost their entire lives without stepping back. They are so set on getting there that they run and run and don’t take the time to see if they are running the right direction.For others I know, i fear that they have never learned how reflect. They can step back, but they don’t know what they are looking at, so they start running again. On the other hand, there are those that spend their entire lives planning and never take a step. They plan the perfect career or family, but they don’t act to make it happen. When things change because they did nothing and now their plans cannot be reached, they spend all their time downsizing their plans and again not acting.
This year what I see most is my previous twelve months of health issues. I won’t get into that again, but I cam say this has really changed me. Now, I am a lot more mellow. I try to remember what is important to me, and the things that aren’t, I just let them go and say it isn’t worth it. I am trying a lot harder to have good relationships with my kids. I think they have cooperated at the same time by trying harder with me. There is still a lot of work to do, but I hope there is progress. I am a lot more concerned about the food I put into my body and staying a far more fit than I have. I take a lot more time to relax and just let life happen. Maybe it takes me a lot longer to get certain things done now, but this is just fine. Those things can wait. I take time to just see what happens around the house or run more errands with my wife or just hang out.
Finally, I try to remind myself that every moment in life is precious and you never know how many tomorrow’s you will have. You really need to live as if you were dying.