Friends are an important part of life. Some might think they are a luxury and others might think they are optional, but I so disagree, and so do many studies. However, the value of friendships is not the topic. I want to talk about my friendships. Good friends are rare, a thing you are grateful to have, and something you don’t want to lose. Well, recently, I have not lost friends, but some of them are out on loan for an indefinite period of time.
Many of my closest friendships have come through work and with my recent employment change, friendships have been impacted. Many of these friends have just relocated themselves to other companies in the area and are still within reach. It would not take that much effort to see them; however, with new jobs, family responsibilities, and just the slight incontinence of getting together, I don’t expect to see these friends very often – maybe once once or twice a year if I am lucky. The nice thing is there is FaceBook, so I can at least keep up with the lives of these friends, assuming they use FaceBook, and shoot them an occasional comment.
With two of my very best friends from work, the status change has provided or forced a more drastic change in their lives. They have left the area. One is now in London and the other in Virginia. In reality, I will interact with these friends as much as I interact with the ones that are close through email and FaceBook, but they just feel inaccessible. It’s almost like we have lost our only commonality – location, so we have nothing in common, even though I know we still do.
So what is the real issue here with me? Yes, I really do miss my close friends. I miss chatting with them each day and sharing stories. I miss adding to our huge list of sheep jokes that we have told (inside story here). I miss the familiarity that comes through years or interaction and working through many common projects together. And knowing how these situations have worked out in the past, I am sure we will drift further apart, but these obstacles can be overcome. So, what is the real problem? Maybe it is the fear of changing from the comfortable to the new. Maybe it really is all about comfort zones. I didn’t think I was hesitant to try new things but maybe I have changed and I am now. Maybe with all of the other things that have changed in my life, I need something stable to fall back on and it is gone. This is probably the best answer.
I really am not sure why I feel the way I do, but I know this has been really hard on me. Maybe I need to listen to these feelings more and take it as a hint to do a lot more than just let these valuable jewels called friends slip away as I have done int he past.
UPDATE: On my recent trip to London I was able to get together with one of these friends. it was great. Things felt so comfortable; it’s like we have only been apart for a few weeks instead of over a year. Hopefully other opportunities like this will come in the future.