I have been accused of being stubborn, sometimes very stubborn. In many ways, it is deserved. For sure if I were on the outside looking at me, I would be willing to bet that my attitudes towards certain aspects of life or the world would probably never change, but they have, at least in one direction, which amazes me.
I distinctly remember back in seventh grade that Spock from Star Trek was my hero. I wanted to be smart like him, strong like him, and, most of all, ruled by logic like him. I even tried to adopt his stoic behavior. What I disliked back then were all those business types, which contributed nothing. They just got rich from the work of the brilliant inventors and scientists. I even remember debating with my high school accounting teacher about the uselessness of business. Of course, I wanted to be a scientist. And when it came to art, it was superfluous and the world could go on just fine without it.
In college, as I studied engineering and turned my thoughts to earning a living, business started looking better. I still loved science and engineering, but I could definitely see that without the business people, great ideas would never get anywhere or maybe not even get a birth. My hero became Bill Gates. This progression continued as I entered the workforce. In fact, I so wanted to have my own business so I could control where things headed with my ideas and also reap the financial benefits of my work. As for art, interesting but a luxury.
In these past give or so years as I have been really getting into photography, I have noticed another change. Maybe it is because of my opportunities to travel the world, maybe it is the museums I have been through, maybe it is my conscious efforts to study painting. I don’t know. I do know that I now want to capture something beautiful in my photography. I want to make art. My new hero is Vincent Van Gogh. As for the other things, engineering and business, I still think they are cool.
I’m not sure what point I am trying to make, maybe to never stop growing and never close your mind to things. I feel like I have evolved from a one-dimensional. to a two-dimensional, to now a three-dimensional person. Has it taken me a lifetime to get here? Almost, but at least I made it or am on my way. Am I embarrassed about my previous attitudes? Not really, because I did the best I could with what I was given at the time, and as other pieces of the incomplete puzzle of life or the world came along, I was able to accept them, instead of tossing them aside. Do i wish i had come to this point sooner? Maybe, but maybe I would not have appreciated it so much. In a way, I cannot fault the journey, because it has brought me here. Another, possibly shorter path, may seemingly have got me here sooner but would I really be here? OK, too deep.
As I continue my journey, not only do I love art more, but I find my tastes changing, so I am still evolving. One of my current favorites, which I use to not even consider art, are the works of Mark Rothko. His use of shapes and colors to convey emotion and meaning is fascinating, as Spock would say. Where am I headed next, who knows, and does it matter as long as I keep moving?