I hesitate to write this at this time because I feel like I am still in the middle of things and might not have a complete prospective, but I also want to get this done while things are fresh. In early October 2011, I thought I was sick, but I think the reality is that I was sick as much as a year earlier and October just brought about the latest round of symptoms. It really doesn’t matter what the physical manifestations of my illness were, because they are just symptoms. I also had some symptoms during the summer of 2011 and some in March 2011and even some in December the year before. It’s possible that if I examined things before that, I would find more symptoms. What does matter is that all these physical manifestations probably came from the same underlying cause – stress.
Yesterday was the worst Friday the 13th I can remember! (Note: I do not use exclamation points very often) Why? Well, let me vent a bit and say. First of all, after 11+ years of service with my company, today was my last day. Two days earlier, they called a mandatory meeting for a select group of us and told us, who represented all of the people in Utah working on a particular project, that we were being laid off in an effort to consolidate sites and our last day would be Friday. Bullarky!! Just say it; upper management, in this case based out of India, thinks his country is the solution because you get so much more for your money in India. I am not opposed to people in India, but with wages rising twenty percent a year, it won’t be long until a new upper management leader from China does the same to them. So, let’s throw out all the experience and expertise and start over somewhere else. This will save money. In the case of my job function, no transfer of knowledge at all, which is ridiculous and stupid beyond stupid. But this post is about me, not the company, so back to me.
It’s been three months since I last wrote and three months since I become extremely ill. I am not all the way recovered yet, but am doing a lot better. Previous to this, the longest I have been sick was a month, and the majority of the symptoms were gone in a week or so. This time, the majority of the symptoms were with me for over two months. At this time, I won’t go into the details of all of my problems, but I do want to write about how this chronic illness has changed or reset my life.
As I get older, more and more things cease to work on my body like they use to. For example, my fingernails are so much thinner than they use to be. I’m not sure why but I don’t like my nails tearing so easily. My skin gets all sorts of dry patches that don’t tan and look funny. My back seems to always be a bit sore, along with my neck. My muscles seem to always be tight around my neck. My ability to get the amount of sleep I need is terrible, so I always feel tired. There are just a few examples; these are things I didn’t need to worry about 10 to 20 years ago. So now, I need to be more interested in my health.